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4 ways your beer is actually your best friend

We’ve heard this one a lot of times. “Stay with a beer long enough and it talks to you”. No? Haven’t seen that quote pop up on the interwebs? Ah well. The point being that although you may have actual human friends (if you don’t, you always have us. We love you), you know that the one friend who’ll stick by you regardless of the circumstances, is good ol’ beer. That’s right. Hop aboard the feel train people, this is going to be one emotional ride. Here are the many ways beer is actually your best friend.

It's your best gaming buddy

Think about it. There’s never one time where you’ve not had fun playing with beer. How? Take beer pong for example. If someone pots a shot into one of your cups, you get to drink the beer. So you win even though you lose. No human friend can ever do that.

Flip it good

It always makes you smarter than you usually might be

When you’re with beer, you board the Epiphany Express. Yes that’s a thing. Every time you hang out with your brew, you fire off philosophical volleys to your friends either physically or through the phone. Here’s an example.


It’ll never ask you let go

Beer was made for your hand. Really. Hold a bottle of beer right now. How does that feel? Perfect right? Here’s the best part. Your dear friend, beer, will never ask you to put it down or let it go (or any other three word song title about detachment that you can come up with). Hand in hand? More like Can in Hand!

Life's a beer-ch

Beer is thicker than water. No, really.

This has been proven scientifically. In fact beer is the exact same density as blood, technically making beer family more than just your best friend. You’re welcome. Time for a reunion with your brewed relative. We insist.

Because Science

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